Detachment: Freedom from attachments to things and to people

Insecurities have a way of sneaking into one’s mind and making the slightest problems seem like a hurricane settling in to destroy. Association with things we accumulate on earth creates an absurd negative attachment. Aggression, greed and selfishness are few of the things that stand in the midst of our progress. The compulsion to get more than is required is the devastation of our society. Detachment is the only process that can allow disassociation with stuff and relationships that have grown to be negative.

Detachment is the process of releasing your energy from possessions or people. You relinquish your expectations from hoping for something meaningful to happen when you have disconnected yourself from materialistic things or to the opinions of people who have a negative hold on you. Bonds of holding on to what was expected simply disappear through detachment. The only attachment you feel is the one you have with your divine Creator from inception to death.

It is an unnatural habitual instinct that we have acquired from society to attach ourselves to worldly created manifestations. What we consider to be valuable in this world often causes discomfort. The moment you learned as a child to associate with things, feelings and people, you became susceptible to attachments. Young kids show this habit by not sharing their toys or food with other children. Adults develop an association with career titles, fancy cars’ and their partnerships or relationships with people.

When entitlement ensues from within it’s hard to let go, it’s extremely hard when people lose their jobs or when they get demoted from prestigious positions. But attachment can cause depression and anger. Attachments are usually associated with pain. In a state of attachment, love is not genuine, you hold on to what you had in the past instead of moving forward with life. We learn the invaluable experiences from the love we receive. And when someone moves on, we must release them. Learn to love without expectations, set free what doesn’t belong to you. Letting go doesn’t mean that you love less or pretentiously, it means you love honestly.

Anger about situations that we can’t control gives way to feelings of isolation and you neglect to be at peace with the situation at hand. You have to be objective about situations. But, it can be difficult when you feel trapped in a system which rattles your foundation.

Healing starts when you can let go of the situation or situations which bring you emotional torment. When you have inquired within yourself about the reasons for your emotional pain, you will find a solution to bring peace of mind instantly. Reflecting on your deepest desire for a fulfilling life will aid you to become more connected to a place of astonishing peace.

Life is hard, there’s no doubt about that, but we have to be hopeful and commit ourselves to what we want with absolute unwavering faith. Push yourself pass the pain and be hopeful. All the things that we have planned for in our lives that are important always come with pain. You win when you look beyond the pain. The one who concentrates on the pain can never live to see the glory. But let go by moving on with life without creating a great expectation of any output.

Author of Emotional Detachment for a better life, Remez Sasson, wrote that ‘lack of emotional detachment leads to attachment, to fear of letting go, and to avoiding changes’. When you detach from a heart-breaking situation or situations you gain focus and you will be more assertive. A great deal of emotional detachment develops inner strength.

Meditation and reciting mantras or quotes helps with healing emotional attachments. One of my favourite quotes by Ramez Sasson states that ‘a detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus ensuring a successful outcome of his actions.’

Another way to detach from emotional attachment is through service. When you are serving someone, you let your consuming obsession with your own emotional torment completely subside during that moment. Jesus Christ said, ‘I came to serve, and not to be served’. This shows how important an act of service is in loving others. It’s crucial to maintain the balance, do not lose focus by becoming too busy with other activities which lead you to neglect your main purpose. The point is that, as much as life happens on its own accord, don’t lose focus on the most fundamental spiritual mission of knowing and living your purpose.

I believe with all my might that each and every one of us has a purpose to fulfil. The author of Think and grow rich, Napoleon Hill said ‘a big success is made up of a great number of little circumstances each of which is so small and seemingly insignificant that most people pass it by as not worthy of notice.’ Each purpose is significant, each act is never too small and it all adds up to make one big puzzle piece. As we are all born to love one another, I have realised that we have to be unselfish and fearless in the pursuit of discovering the true essence of life. We can do that by always reflecting on our deepest desires, by being acutely aware of our spiritual essence and by being aware of our mental attitudes. Do what propels you to live a better life for yourself. Devotion is essential to a healing life.

Detached people seek no validation. When you seek validation you become affixed to people’s opinions and approval. By simply letting go of any attachments to worldly things you become liberated to know the true essence of God. Meditation allows love to flourish without any external conditions to filter the love which lives within your spirit. Through the process of meditation, you become light-hearted, mentally strong and obsessions with worldly conducts subside. Life begins to flow in a new way, concerns about money, career, love from someone and ideas of success become irrelevant when you know how to maintain the natural balance. You begin to have the right amount of ambition to propel you towards your dreams without losing sight of your soul.

Anxious energy attracts attachments to feelings of despair, anger, sadness and all the negative expressions. Detachment rids you of negative energy. It helps us to move forward without carrying excess energy that is not convenient for our goals. To disconnect from other people’s opinions and feelings is often very necessary in order to protect ourselves from being dragged down towards a path of destruction.

Through the journey of learning more about detachment, I realised that you begin to be more focused and assertive in your decisions. Mental strength is elevated to new heights. Expectations subside when you become more focused on doing what will help you in your healing process. Then you will recognise the power that sleeps within you.